Puzzle Pieces
by Bamfderson
Summary: Blaine's falling apart, and no one's noticing. But who would have thought all it would take was a boy and a stage to put him back together?


**Warnings**: Swearing, general dark themes, reference to violence, and I think I may have written some things that could be a rape trigger but it's purely by accident- you can interpret it how you want. This makes it sound awful I wanted to write Klaine getting back together and this happened... Also Sugar says a quote from Easy A that seems meaner in this context and is a bit cruel, given the circumstances. Oops?

**A/N**: I'm proud of myself for writing two fics in 2 hours that are over 2000 words but not so much of the lack of fluff in this. My Blaine feels came out guys. They wouldn't leave. I'm sorry? Anyway, hope you enjoy.

* * *

When Mr Schue walks into the choir room, he looks dangerously excited about something.

"Guys, I have an idea!"

Fuck.

Blaine knows that his ideas sometimes work out, but he also knows that the majority of the time they don't. He's surprised they haven't been subjected to 'Westlife' week yet to prove their 'importance as a team'.

Sure, a team.

They all hate him now anyway- what would it matter if he suggested anything? Sugar's the only one who doesn't really care; on the first day Finn had spilled the beans about his 'mistake' she had hastily whispered into his ear 'Now you're a super-slut like me,' and skipped off before she had the chance to notice the way he had frozen in the hallway, feet refusing to move.

Is that what they think of him?

_-the bed's too small the mattress is too squishy it's nothing like his own or like Kurt's all soft and smelling of him and when he curls his fingers into it the fabric gives until it feels like he's clutching silk so soft and clean and Kurt this is different scratchy who the fuck would buy this blanket what the hell were you thinking are you high-_

He knows Tina does; he can see the judgement in her eyes when she has to speak to him in Glee club. Sam's still harbouring a grudge since the Quinn fiasco against anyone who even strays into this specific area of shittiness, and even a well-placed Darth Vader impression in fourth period the other day hadn't managed to make him crack a smile at Blaine.

He misses Kurt.

Misses him like his chest is aching, like his limbs are heavy and weak. The worst part is that this isn't even a new sensation; he's felt like this for weeks now, dragging himself around and cracking a smile for too long. It feels like his edges are curling away, peeling off until there's nothing left but ash where he once was.

_-hands roaming over him too rough too big sliding over his skin twisting into his hair no wait this isn't a good idea I can't do this I can't do this-_

He received a concerned look from Marley, who has so far sat on the fence about the issue, having not really known Kurt. It's the older members he has to worry about; they'd defend him to the death.

Not Blaine, they'd never defend Blaine.

He catches himself flinching in gym when Sam raises his arm to pull his sneakers from his locker.

_-I can't do this I need to go I'm sorry I can't I know what I said I know I said I'd come over for this but I can't you need to understand I can't get off I can't do this-_

Luckily, Sam notices the movement too and looks Blaine in the eye, for the first time since the news hit.

"You okay, dude?" Blaine nods swiftly, knowing how wide his eyes must be, how red they probably are from the last couple of nights of crying. He registers that this is the first time anyone's looked him in the eye, not since Kurt-

Or maybe he's been looking down a lot.

* * *

He knows that something's up. Finn, in his new position of head of Glee club (and when the fuck did that happen the last Blaine checked _he _was the new Rachel not some lumbering idiot who had basically ruined his life- y_ou ruined your life. You did this. You deserve this. You don't deserve it, any of it. Not even him)_ and Sam have started speaking in quiet whispers, silence taking over as soon as Blaine enters the room.

It takes him back to being fourteen and scared and a parking lot and screams and so much blood he's choking on it, gasping in freezing air and trying to move his left arm.

_Stop being an idiot, they're your friends. You messed up so they're not right now, but they're not enemies._

His thoughts are beginning to sound more and more like Kurt.

_We all know you're the bad guy here._

* * *

He's taken to sitting in the auditorium during lunch and study periods. He feels as alone in here as anywhere else, but here he feels like he doesn't have to hide it. The sheer space and the stage and the empty seats feel like he's encased in a bubble of solitude, away from anyone, everyone.

"Finn says you've taken to sitting in here." Kurt's voice is clear, ringing through the air like a bell alerting to his presence. Blaine doesn't even lift his head from where it is cushioned on his arms, curled into a ball with his knees up on the side of the stage. He hears footsteps on the stairs, the soft click of expensive boots tapping across the floor, and still doesn't lift his head.

"You're not talking to me? Wow, that's a turn of events I wasn't expecting. And here I thought I was allowed to play wounded while you tried to get my attention."

He sounds so much like Kurt.

But Blaine's pretty sure he's drifted off to sleep again in school, and the idea of waking up is too painful.

"Seriously? You know, you can be a real fucking jerk at times."

_-you're such a fucking jerk you came over here what the hell did you think was gonna happen I didn't ask to deal with your emotional damage for fuck's sake you could at least finish me off-_

"I'm sorry." His voice is a mumble, weak and tear filled as he speaks into the fabric of his sleeves, eyes screwed shut.

Kurt sighs loudly, and sinks on to the floor next to Blaine.

If he concentrates, it's like he can feel the space between them.

"I know you are, B. But what am I supposed to do? You can't- you can't just fall apart like this. This isn't fair." His voice breaks, tears brimming in his eyes by the sounds of it, and Blaine feels like he should applaud his subconscious- it really nailed it this time.

_-did you hear Anderson let some dude nail him I hear Kurt freaked out poor Kurt they never made a good couple anyway it's not like he ever really deserved someone like him do you think they'll get back together I think if Kurt's sensible he'll ditch him like the trash he is that's harsh Kitty it's true though I mean can you imagine and apparently it was a stranger too like how low can you get-_

Blaine brings his hands up to cover his ears before he makes the conscious decision to do so, and when he does he feels a brush of fabric against his elbow. He freezes, not daring to open his eyes, and holds his breath until warm arms wrap around him.

_-what am I supposed to do hold my breath I miss you I miss fooling around with you talk to me talk to me I don't know what to do I don't have you I don't have anyone please I need you I need you I need you I lov-_

"Oh Blaine."

He doesn't know how long he sits there, doesn't know how long it is until tears start flowing, until he starts the mantra of _I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry _But it must be a while, because his legs start to ache and his tears start to lessen and Kurt is there, Kurt is _safe._

_-what the fuck did you do how could you be so stupid you had everything and now you have nothing you are nothing he's probably waiting to punch you or get someone else to and you deserve it he could leave you here on the cold floor and run away and not ever look back and you'd still be here alone like you should be-_

Eventually the tears stop and he finds the courage to blink his eyes open.

Kurt is there.

He's there and he's crying and he still has his arms around Blaine like he's not ever going to let him go

_-but he is he's going to let go he's probably come back to tell you and then he'll be gone I don't want to be here I don't want to be in this school I don't want to be-_

Kurt pulls him closer and shushes him; was he talking out loud?

"Yeah you were. I'm here, okay? I'm not going. But- god, Blaine- there's so much that we need to go over."

Blaine nods into his shirt, sniffing and trying not to get too close before Kurt realizes and shoves him away.

"I don't know how we're going to do this, but I miss you- I need you, I need- I need to make this work."

Blaine doesn't dare speak.

_-now you're definitely dreaming as if he'd come back for the likes of you have you been smoking something you smoked that day remember when you fucked everything up you breathed it in and it was burning heat and coughing pain and you felt the fire scratch at your chest for days afterwards could still feel it when you went to Kurt's felt the pain still hid the wince-_

"Blaine, it's going to take a lot of work. It's gonna take so much- can you do that for me? Do you think you could try?"

Another nod. He lets himself get closer, the fabric scratching against his cheek.

"I got the phone call from Finn and they're so worried about you and you're not telling me everything; you weren't then and you're still not, even now, and I _can't _see you like this, Blaine, I can't-"

_-I can't do this let me go let me go I have to leave I messed up I screwed it up I can't I can't I'm leaving open the door open it where's the key open it please open it-_

"I'm sorry."

"You said that."

"I'm so sorry Kurt."

"You said that too."

It seems worse; the quiet here. The auditorium should be loud, full of voices and happiness and excitement. Not two broken boys huddled on a stage precariously close to the steps. He wonders how Kurt feels; whether he appreciates the drama of it all or whether he's just waiting for Blaine to man the fuck up and get up so Kurt doesn't have to touch him anymore.

"I love you so much, B. Don't make me lose you."

"You aren't gonna lose me." The dark humour of the statement isn't lost on them; Kurt huffs a laugh into Blaine's hair as he remembers the words, spoken so long ago in Miss Pillsbury's office, when things were brighter and better.

"I love you. You hung up on me." He doesn't want to say it but blurts it out anyway, sounding like a petty child and cringing at his own tone.

"You cheated on me. Let's call it even." Blaine twists away from Kurt to look him in the eyes, confusion written across his face.

"Those things are nowhere near even. Not even close."

"Good thing I make the rules then."

"_Kurt."_

"_Blaine."_

Kurt's smiling now, and Blaine gets it. He smiles back.

"You're not real." Now it's Kurt's turn to look confused, and Blaine misses the sad shock in his expression when he realizes what Blaine is saying.

"Blaine, I'm here."

"No, you're not. You're never here. I'm asleep or passed out or something."

"I'm here."

"No."

"I'm here."

"You can't b-" Kurt's lips are pressed against his, a gentle kiss cutting him off before he has the chance to argue further.

Dream Kurt doesn't kiss. Dream Kurt often yells and throws things.

He doesn't kiss.

They pull apart, a tiny gasp of breath echoing in the auditorium.

"I'm here."

"You're here."

_-I love you I'm never saying goodbye they can't touch us pretty pretty please don't you ever you're the love of my life you aren't gonna lose me you make me feel like I'm living a don't speak don't speak I'm here I'm here I'm here-_


End file.
